End Games
by Brulian4ever
Summary: AU - Doesn't really follow the show. Pacey struggles to keep two promises that he made. Crappy summary, but the story's pretty good. PA, PJ, mentions of DJ and PJen. A little angsty. Reviews are appreciated. I own nothing. T for some dialogue.
1. Chapter 1

Pacey Witter sighed heavily as he took the key out of the ignition. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the steering wheel for a moment. This day had been coming for a long time and it was time to face the music. He got out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. He paused momentarily before taking a deep breath and reaching for the doorknob.

2 months earlier:

"Mr. Witter, your wife is on line 2." Pacey's assistant buzzed him and Pacey couldn't help but sigh.

"Thank you Marie." He said as he picked up the phone. "What is it Andie? I've got a ton of work to do."

"Hi Hon, I'm sorry to bother you but I just wanted to remind you to stop by the store on your way home and pick up some candles." Andie McPhee-Witter said sweetly and Pacey felt bad about snapping.

"Candles?" He asked, uncertainly.

"Yes, candles for the cake Pacey." Andie sighed, frustrated. "Jessica's birthday, you forgot didn't you?"

"No I didn't forget." Pacey tried to backtrack but Andie knew better.

"Pace, you are going to be here aren't you?" Andie asked and Pacey was quiet. "Pacey, she's your daughter and all she wants for her birthday is for her father to be here."

"Of course, I'm going to be there Andie." Pacey silently cursed himself. "I just may be a little late."

"How late, Pace?" Andie's tone was not happy.

"Only maybe a half-hour…." Pacey told her quickly. "I have one late meeting and then I'll be on my way I promise."

"Do you really promise Pacey?" Andie asked him coldly. "If I push everything back a half-hour, will you really be here?"

"I promise." Pacey told her again. "I won't let Jessica down again, I swear."

"OK Pace." Andie finally conceded. "So, you'll be here by 7:00?"

"7:00 on the nose." Pacey glanced at his watch; it was almost 6:00.

"I'll see you when you get here." Andie paused for a moment. "I love you Pacey."

"I love you too." Pacey hung up the phone as he stood up, reaching for his jacket. There was somewhere he had to be and he had to get there soon. He opened the door to his office and walked out, pausing at his assistant's desk. "If my wife calls again tell her I'm out of the office meeting clients."

"But I don't have any appointments set up for right now Mr. Witter." Marie checked the calendar before looking back at Pacey.

"Just do as I ask Marie." Pacey said before walking away, knowing that Marie assumed he was going off to meet another woman. It wasn't exactly true but it wasn't exactly false either. But he couldn't tell Andie what he as doing, she wouldn't understand. Hell, he didn't even completely understand it. All he knew was that it was something he had to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Pacey pulled his car into the driveway of the small one-story house and turned the ignition off. I shouldn't be here, he thought to himself as he got out and walked to the front door. It's my daughter's birthday and I'm here, why? He shook his head with sigh. He knew why. It was because he couldn't stand the thought of her being alone and that's what she was. He took a breath as he rang the doorbell and waited. A moment later the door swung open and a smile spread across his face.

"Pacey, what are you doing here?" Joey Potter asked as she opened the door wider for him and he stepped inside. "I didn't expect to see you today, what with it being Jessica's birthday and all."

"Well, I can't stay long but I just wanted to stop by and make sure everything was OK." Pacey shrugged.

"You're too good to me, you know that Pace." Joey smiled a little as she tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and Pacey frowned. She looked tired and he had no doubt that she was. "You actually came just in time. I was just about to start the nightly war." At that moment Pacey heard the loud footsteps coming down the hall and turned to find Joey's 4-year-old twins (a boy and girl), dressed in their pajamas, running full speed toward him.

"Pacey!" They screamed at the top of their lungs as they launched themselves into his arms and he lifted them easily off the floor.

"Hey, I missed you guys." Pacey said as he hugged them tightly before setting them down.

"We missed you too Pacey." Jennifer Leery smiled up at him and Pacey couldn't help but see how much she was starting to look like her mother.

"Mama, can we stay up with Pacey?" Jennifer's brother, Elijah, peered up at Joey with pitiful eyes and Pacey smiled.

"No you can not." Joey shook her head.

"Please!" Eli begged before Pacey stepped in.

"How about I tuck you guys in OK?" Pacey asked and Elijah and Jennifer nodded enthusiastically. "Is that OK with you?" Pacey looked at Joey.

"Be my guest." Joey held her hands up. "You can deal with the screaming and the wanting a glass of water and the needing to go to the bathroom."

"You guys won't be like that, will you?" Pacey scooped the two kids up and turned to look at Joey. "They won't do that." Pacey winked at her before heading down the hall toward their bedroom. Joey simply smirked as she followed them. "OK, you guys climb in bed." He put the twins down and they ran to get in their separate beds. Pacey walked over to Eli and sat down on the bed. "Goodnight E. You sleep tight. Be good for your mommy."

"I love you Pacey." He threw his arms around Pacey's neck and hugged him tightly. Joey blinked back tears as she watched the scene b/w her son and Pacey from the door.

"I love you too, little man." Pacey kissed Eli's head before heading over to his sister. "OK Jenny, time for sleep."

"I love you, Pacey…" she murmured sleepily as Pacey leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"… and I love you Jenny." He kissed her again before slipping quietly out of the room, closing the door behind him. He turned to find Joey leaning against the wall, tears flowing freely down her face. "Jo, what's wrong?"

"I just don't know if I can do this Pace." Joey said in a choked whisper. "It isn't fair. They never had a chance to know their father." Dawson Leery was the twin's father. He was also Pacey's best friend and had unfortunately died in a car accident about a year ago, along with their other friend Jen Lindley.

"Joey, please don't cry." Pacey wrapped his arms around her. "You know I can't take it when you cry." Pacey held her close to him as he rocked her back and forth. This was why he was here instead of being at home with his family. He felt responsible for Joey and the twins. He had promised Dawson he would take care of them. They were alone; they had no one, except him, and they needed him. He just wished Andie could understand that but he also understood why she couldn't. Would you trust your husband going to spend time with the woman he had had an affair with? Pacey closed his eyes as Joey continued to cry into his chest. He wished that he could say it had only happened once, but that wasn't the truth. His affair with Joey had lasted almost 8 months – while Pacey was married to Andie and Joey to Dawson. Andie found out about them and she was going to tell Dawson. The only reason she didn't was because Pacey had promised to never see Joey again. He had kept his promise too. That is until Joey had called him crying from the emergency room saying that Jen and Dawson had been in an accident. Without thinking he had rushed to the hospital, just in time to say a final goodbye to both of them. He remembered Dawson's words vividly.

"Pace, please take care of Joey for me." Dawson mumbled as he struggled for breath. "These babies..." He broke off as he winced in pain and Pacey felt his heart stop. "Those babies are going to need someone. Promise me; promise me you'll take care of them."

"I promise, D." Pacey told him as he held his hand. "I'll make sure they're OK."

"Thanks Pace." Those were the last words Dawson spoke before he closed his eyes and stopped breathing.

"Pace…" Joey's voice caused Pacey to jump, forcing him back to reality. He looked down to find her staring up at him with a worried expression.

"What is it, Jo?" He asked, immediately concerned.

"I don't know what to tell them." Joey said finally, glancing at the twin's door.

"Don't know what to tell them about what?" Pacey brushed the hair from her face.

"They don't understand why their father's not here." Joey blinked back tears again. "They keep asking me why all of their friends have daddies and they don't."

"Oh Jo…" Pacey pulled her back into his arms. "They're just confused."

"That's not everything Pace." Joey pulled away and bit her lip nervously.

"What?" Pacey looked down at her. "Jo, come on, you know can tell me."

"Yesterday…" Joey began but stopped. "Pace, yesterday they asked me if you could be their dad."

"Oh…" Pacey let out a breath. "Wow, what did you say?"

"I didn't know what to say." Joey shook her head, ashamed. "So I just changed the subject." She closed her eyes for a moment. "I was watching you in there with them tonight and I can understand why they would ask that. I mean, you're the only father they've ever known, Pace, and they love you so much."

"… and I love them." Pacey said immediately. He glanced quickly at his watch. "Shit!" He swore, it was 6:45 and he still had to make it across town. "Jo, I gotta go, Jess…." He trailed off and she nodded.

"I understand." She smiled up at him and Pacey felt a tug at his heart. What was it about this woman that kept him so enraptured? There was nothing romantic going on between them anymore but all of the feelings that he had felt for her since high school were still there and he didn't quite know what to do about it.

"I'll be back, soon." He told her as he headed toward the front door and she followed. "We'll figure out what to tell them."

"OK." Joey nodded, not daring to say that what she wanted tell the twins was that he would be their daddy.

"Take care, Potter." He kissed her forehead and Joey smiled, just like she always did when he called her Potter.

"Goodnight, Pace." Joey called as he walked toward his car. "Give Jess a birthday kiss for me."

"I will." Pacey looked at her for a long moment before getting in his car and pulling out of the driveway.


	3. Chapter 3

Pacey pulled up in front of his house at exactly 7:08. He wasn't sure how he had gotten across town so fast but that was probably b/c his mind was still racing at what Joey had said. _They asked me if you could be their dad_, the words echoed in his mind the entire drive home. Shaking his head, he dashed quickly into the house, the smell of lasagna, Jess' favorite meal, filling the air. "I'm home!" He called as he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Daddy!" Pacey grinned when he saw his 6 year-old daughter come running out of the kitchen.

"Happy Birthday Baby!" Pacey hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"That's OK." Jessica giggled as he tickled her and she ran back to the kitchen. "Hurry, daddy, we're having lasagna." She yelled over her shoulder. Pacey laughed as he followed her and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi." He kissed Andie quickly on the cheek as she stood, taking plates from the cupboard.

"Where were you?" Andie asked quietly as she set the table. "You said you were going to be home by 7:00."

"I'm 10 minutes late, Andie." Pacey sighed as he opened the fridge and pulled out the juice, setting it on the table. "Do we have to do this now?"

"No, we don't." Andie shook her head. "Let's just try and be civil for Jessica." Andie turned and took the lasagna out of the oven, placing it on top of the stove.

"Fine." Pacey sighed again before turning to his daughter with a bright smile. "So, who wants lasagna?"

"Me, Me!" Jessica grinned up at her father and Pacey felt his heart soar. He loved that little girl more than anything. He sometimes wondered if she was the reason he stayed after Andie found out about him and Joey; if she was the reason he had begged and pleaded quite so hard for her forgiveness. It was hard to say. He loved Andie, but he couldn't honestly say he would have fought quite so hard if they hadn't had Jessica.

"I love you so much, baby, you know that right?" Pacey asked as he lifted his daughter into his arms and kissed her gently.

"I know daddy." Jessica blushed and giggled before hugging Pacey tightly. Andie paused as she watched the scene. A small smile found her lips, as it always did when she watched Pacey with Jessica. He loved her so much and there was no doubt that Jessica thought her dad could rope the moon. But sometimes she wondered if Jessica was the only reason he had stayed. The fact that he had an affair in the first place was proof that something was wrong with their marriage. Hell, Pacey had almost looked relieved when she finally confronted him about it. It wasn't until she threatened to tell Dawson did he start begging and pleading with her. He was protecting Joey. He was always protecting Joey. He didn't want her to lose face. She sometimes wondered if he still harbored feelings for her. She had a suspicion that he did, but she didn't know what to do about it. When Dawson died, part of Pacey died and Joey was left alone with two small children. Andie sympathized with her situation but she still didn't trust her. Plus, she couldn't stand the thought of him being near her, even if it was just to fix her sink. "Mommy…" Jessica's voice snapped her back to reality. She turned to find her and Pacey watching her from their seats at the table.

"Sorry." Andie smiled brightly, lifting the lasagna from the stove and brining it to the table. She served up the food and sat down.

"I think a toast is in order." Pacey lifted his glass as he smiled down at his daughter. "To the best little girl in the world…." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Happy birthday, baby, I love you more than anything in the world."

"Daddy…" Jessica blushed again and Andie blinked back tears as she sat silently observing.


	4. Chapter 4

"Pacey, you never answered my question." Andie said later that night as they were getting ready for bed. She turned around from her vanity and stared at him, lying on the bed reading.

"What question was that?" He asked, not looking up from his book.

"Where were you this evening? Why were you late?" Andie asked and Pacey sighed heavily, dropping the book on the bed.

"Do we really have to do this, Andie?" Pacey shook his head. "I was 10 minutes late. There was traffic."

"Please don't lie to me, Pacey." Andie stood up and walked across the room. "I just want the truth. I deserve that much."

"I told you the truth." Pacey said, picking up his book again.

"No you didn't." Andie said quietly. "You were with Joey weren't you?" Pacey's head shot up and he looked at her. "You forget how well I know you Pacey. You think that she's the only one that knows you. But I'm the one that's been married to you for the past 8 years."

"Andie…" Pacey began, getting up off the bed.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Andie interrupted him. "Aren't I?" Andie blinked back tears. "So when did you two start fucking again? Was Dawson's body even cold?"

"How can say something so hurtful, Andie?" Pacey looked at her, disgusted. "And it's not what you think. Joey and I aren't sleeping together."

"Oh, really, then what are you doing?" Andie asked, trying to keep her voice down so as to not wake Jessica.

"I promised Dawson I would watch out for her and the twins…" Pacey began and Andie snorted in disgust.

"Yeah, because your friendship with Dawson meant so much to you, right?" Andie rolled her eyes. "That was why you were fucking his wife for almost a year."

"You're never going to let that go are you?" Pacey was finally fed up. "You keep saying that you've forgiven me, but you never did." Pacey glared at her. "You've just been waiting so you can throw it in my face." Pacey shook his head with another angry sigh. "Could you blame me if I did want to spend time with Joey? At least she didn't treat me like a piece of shit every time we were alone. Hell, I'm surprised that you can maintain civility in front of Jess."

"Ah Jess." Andie shook her head. "Why don't you just admit it, Pace. The only reason you're still here is because of Jessica. I mean, there's nothing keeping you and Joey apart anymore but you can't bear to leave Jess, can you?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing." Pacey looked at her, completely lost. "Even if I did want to leave and the only reason I was staying was our daughter, that's not bad character trait, Andie. The fact that I want to be there for my child is a good thing."

"But how do you think Jessica would feel if she found about all the dirty things you did with Aunt Joey." Andie sneered at him and Pacey's face fell.

"What are you saying?" He looked at her, not believing that he was actually hearing these words come out of her mouth. "You wouldn't…"

"No, you're right, I wouldn't." Andie said after a moment. "I wouldn't do that to her. I know how much she loves you and I couldn't hurt her like that."

"Andie, I don't how much more of this I can take." Pacey sighed heavily. "I've said I'm sorry. I can't keep apologizing for this." He ran his fingers through his hair as he looked at his wife. "I can't keep having this same argument with you."

"Why can't you stay away from her?" Andie sat down on the bed and dropped her head in her hands. "Why is she more important to you than our family?"

"She's not." Pacey wrapped his arms around her and held her close, wondering who he was trying to convince, Andie or himself.

"Please don't see her anymore Pacey." Andie looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. "If you ever loved me and if you love Jessica as much as I think you do then you'll stop seeing her. Please…" She trailed off and Pacey held her close again.

"You've got nothing to worry about Andie, Joey's not apart of my life anymore." The words came out of Pacey's mouth before he realized what he was doing and he immediately cringed. Why was he like that? Every time he saw a woman crying he would do or say whatever he had to make her stop. He just couldn't stand to see a woman cry.

"Promise me, Pace." Andie looked up at him again, her eyes searching his. Pacey didn't say anything as he kissed her forehead softly and pulled her against his body again. "Pacey, please…"

"I promise, Andie." Pacey closed his eyes, fighting back tears. The whole situation was a mess and it was his fault. He knew that he wasn't being fair to Andie. His relationship with Joey had always been a source of insecurity for her, even before the affair. He knew she had always been afraid that he would never love her quite as much as he had loved Joey and he wasn't completely sure that she was wrong. He loved Andie, he did. He wouldn't have married her if he hadn't but Joey…. his feelings for Joey were something that he couldn't even explain. Their break-up in high school had been the worst time in his life. But he had slowly gotten his shit together and he and Joey had even been able to become friends again. Hell, he had even been happy for her when she and Dawson announced their engagement. But then everything went to hell. Dawson was wrapped up in work and Andie was occupied with Jessica. He and Joey had started spending more time together and one night it just happened. Then it kept on happening until soon she was like a drug and he had to get his fix to be able to keep functioning. But as time went on, they got sloppy. He wasn't sure exactly how Andie found out about them but she had. Not that it would have been all that difficult. Even he had to admit that after the first month they stopped being all that discrete. Every time it happened he swore to himself that it was the last but he never stuck to that promise.

"Really, Pacey?" Andie questioned him with imploring eyes. "You've said that before…"

"I won't lie to you Andie…" Pacey began, taking a deep breath. "I do feel guilty about her and the twins. They don't have anyone."

"Joey does have friends, Pacey." Andie paused. "Plus, there's Bessie."

"Bessie's in Capeside and she doesn't have any friends. You made sure of that." Pacey immediately regretted the words as soon as they came out of his mouth.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Andie pushed away, glaring at him.

"Well Jack can't stand to be in the same room as her, let alone talk to her." Pacey said as he shook his head. "… and I can understand that. He's your brother." He shrugged. "Who else does she have? The only two people Joey had on her side died in that car crash."

"And that's my fault?" Andie blinked back angry tears. "It's my fault that you two couldn't keep out of each other's pants?"

"I didn't say that." Pacey sighed. "But I feel responsible for her." Andie started to speak but Pacey stopped her. "No, Andie, listen to me. Take away the fact that she's my ex-girlfriend…"

"…and the fact that you had an affair with her." Andie interjected and Pacey looked at her.

"Yes, forget all of that." He took a breath. "I've known Joey my whole life. I can't just put that aside. She was there for me during some really shitty times in my life. Can you understand why I would feel guilty about abandoning her and her children?"

"Pacey, I'm only going to say this once and then I'm going to leave it up to you." Andie swallowed hard as tears filled her eyes again. "You have to make a decision. Who's more important to you, Joey or me and Jessica? Because you're right; we can't live like this anymore." She walked over to him and touched his cheek softly. "I do love you Pacey and I want this marriage to work. But there's only room for two people." Pacey stared up at her for a long time, silent. She was right. He knew she was right. He had made a commitment to her and he had to do whatever he could to make this marriage work, he owed her that much – even if that meant staying away from Joey and the twins.

"I'll stay away from her, Andie." Pacey said quietly, making a silent resolution to himself in the process. "I want this marriage to work. I don't want Jessica to grow up in a broken home with parents who can barely look at each other." He stood up and placed his hands lightly on her hips. "I do love you, Andie." He looked down at her, tears filling his own eyes. "I know that I've given numerous reasons not to believe that but I do." Slowly, he leaned down, capturing her mouth with his.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day Pacey sat in his car staring at Joey's house. Her car was in the driveway, so he knew she was home. Just do it! He thought. Just get out of the car, walk in there and explain. She'll understand. Of course, logically, he knew it shouldn't matter if she understood or not but he didn't want to hurt her or the twins anymore then he already had. Taking a breath, he slowly got out of the car and walked to the front door, ringing the bell. A moment later, the door swung open and Pacey couldn't help but smile. Joey stood in front of him, covered in flour. "Pace, hey! What are you doing here?" She smiled brightly as she held the door open for him.

"Just thought I'd stop by…" Pacey shrugged. Why are you putting this off? Just tell her. Think about Andie and what this would do to her if she knew you were here.

"Oh, well, the twins will be happy." Joey motioned for him to follow as she walked toward the kitchen. "Hey guys, look who's here?" Pacey walked into the kitchen to find that the twins were also covered in flour.

"Pacey!" They screamed when they saw him and started to run toward him.

"Whoa! Stay back." He held up his hands. "You guys are a mess. Why are you guys such a mess?"

"We decided to make a cake." Joey told him and Pacey just looked at her.

"Joey Potter baking, did you lose a bet?" Pacey smirked and Joey reached over, swatting him.

"I'll have you know I'm a great cook." She looked at her children. "Right guys?" They nodded enthusiastically and Joey smiled smugly at Pacey.

"They're your children, Jo of course they're going to say that." He stepped toward her, closing the gap between their bodies. He stopped inches away from her and looked down at her. "But I've known you a lot longer than they have." What the hell are you doing? His brain suddenly screamed at him. You're flirting with her. You promised Andie you'd stay away and you're flirting with her. Pacey suddenly stepped away from her and Joey looked at him strangely.

"Are you OK, Pace?" She asked, concerned.

"Actually no." Pacey said quickly so he wouldn't chicken out. "There's something I need to talk to you about."

"I know." Joey nodded. "We do need to talk." She glanced at the twins before looking back at Pacey. "Do you think you could help me clean them up first?" Pacey gazed down at Joey's children, a smile finding his lips. God, he loved those kids.

"Of course." He smiled at Joey. "Come on rug rats. Let's you guys cleaned up." An hour later, Eli and Jennifer were clean and dry and happily watching a movie in the living room.

"So I know what you want to talk about Pace." Joey said as they sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee.

"You do?" Pacey's eyes widened. Had Andie called her? Oh god, he really hoped Andie hadn't called her.

"You want to talk about what the kids said, right?" Joey looked at him. "….about them asking if you could be their dad"

"Oh…" Pacey sighed with relief. "Actually, no that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"It's not?" Joey looked at him curiously. "Well what is it?"

"It's Andie." Pacey said simply and Joey's face fell.

"What about her?" She asked, although she was pretty sure she already knew the answer. Pacey was quiet as he looked at her. Why was this so hard? "She found out about you coming over here, didn't she?" Joey gave a sarcastic laugh. "Damn that woman's good. Does she have someone following you?"

"No." Pacey said although he didn't actually know if she did or not. She might have, but he doubted it. "Andie's pretty perceptive. She knows me pretty well." He took a breath. "Anyway, to say the least, she wasn't happy."

"What are you trying to say, Pace?" Joey asked quietly.

"She said I had to choose." Pacey closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "She said it was you or my family." He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. "She's my wife, Jo, and she deserves better than what I've been giving her. I owe her that much after everything that I've put her through." Joey nodded silently, she knew he was right and she knew that she had no right to be upset but she couldn't help it. She had come to rely on Pacey so much and now…. "I'm sorry, I am." Pacey reached out and touched her hand.

"I understand, Pace." Joey forced a smile. "I do." She shrugged a little. "Besides, maybe she's right. I probably have been monopolizing your time."

"Jo, you know I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be." Pacey touched her cheek softly, knowing he shouldn't but unable to stop himself. He quickly pulled his hand away and ran his fingers through his hair. "…and you know how much I love those kids." He glanced over his shoulder at Eli and Jen, tears filling his eyes. Joey placed her hand over his and he looked back at her.

"I know you love them, Pace." Joey looked at him softly. "But you're right. Andie's your wife and I can understand why she wouldn't want you spending time with me."

"I told her nothing was going b/w us but she wouldn't believe me." Pacey shrugged helplessly.

"Can you blame her for not believing you, Pace?" Joey asked and Pacey just looked at her. "Come on, you and I both know that there will never be a time when there's nothing going on b/w us." Pacey was quiet for a long time as he looked at the woman in front of him. He knew she was right. There would never come a time when she didn't mean something to him.

"You're right." Pacey nodded slowly. "…and that's why I'm not being fair to Andie by being here."

"I know." Joey sipped her coffee and took a deep breath. "Would it be asking too much for you to say something to twins, explain as best you can why you can't come over anymore?"

"Oh God, those poor kids…" Pacey sighed heavily as he dropped his head into his hands. "I've just screwed everything up." He looked up at Joey slowly. "I'm so sorry, Jo. I was just trying to make things better."

"I know you were." Joey reached over and took his hand, holding it tightly. "…and you did. I don't know if I would have been able to get through this without you, Pace."

"But I feel like I've just made everything worse." He looked into the living room at Joey's children. "They're not going to understand why I'm not around anymore. They're just going think I disappeared like Dawson."

"Pace, Jen and Eli know how much you love them." Joey told him softly.

"I don't want to leave them, Jo, but…" Pacey looked at her helplessly.

"I know, Pace. I know." Joey wrapped her arms around him and Pacey clung to her with all his strength, knowing that this would probably be the last time he ever held her.

"I suppose I should go do this." Pacey reluctantly pulled away and looked down at her. "If things were different Jo…."

"Don't." Joey placed her fingers on his lips to stop him. "Let's not do 'what if', Pace." Pacey nodded silently before turning and walking into the living room.

"Hi Pacey!" Jennifer smiled up at him and Pacey felt his heart break.

"Do you guys want to come here and sit with me?" He sat down on the couch and patted each side of him. Jennifer and Elijah scrambled up from their place on the floor and cuddled into Pacey. He closed his eyes as tears formed and took a breath.

"Pacey, what's wrong?" Jennifer asked, looking up at him with concerned eyes that were exactly like her mother's.

"There's something I need to talk to you guys about." Pacey glanced up at Joey, who was watching them silently from across the room.

"Pacey, what's wrong?" Eli bit his lip nervously.

"There's nothing wrong…" Pacey trailed off, not knowing how to tell them. "Uh…. There's just something I have to tell you guys and I'm really sure how."

"Just tell us, Pacey." Jennifer looked up at him with a smile. "Mommy says that it's better to just say what is, even if it's bad. But you shouldn't keep it inside."

"You're mama's a very smart woman." Pacey looked at Joey for a long moment, his heart broke when he saw tears shimmering in her eyes. "Here's the thing, guys, I'm not going to be coming over anymore."

"Why?" Eli asked; his eyes wide and slowly filling with tears.

"I just can't anymore." Pacey gently wiped the tears from his face.

"Did we do something bad?" Jen's voice was barely a whisper and Pacey looked down to see her crying. "Are you mad at us Pacey?"

"Oh God, no, Jenny!" He lifted her into his lap and hugged her close. "I love you guys, so much." He pulled away to look at her and her brother.

"Then why are you leaving?" Jen asked and Joey closed her eyes at the pain in her daughter's voice.

"I don't want to, honey." Pacey told her in a whisper, reaching to take Eli's hand in his. "I'm sorry." Pacey finally broke down crying as he hugged the two children, kissing both of their head. "I have to go." He hugged Jennifer one more time, kissing her cheek. "I love you, Jenny."

"I love you too Pacey." Jennifer whispered as she threw her arms around him one more time. Pacey closed his eyes for a moment and kissed the top of her head. He almost reluctantly set Jennifer back on the couch and turned to Eli.

"I love you, E." He lifted the little boy up and rocked him gently.

"Please don't go, Pacey…." Eli pleaded as he looked up at the closest thing to a father he had ever known.

"I have to." Pacey's voice broke as he choked on a sob. He kissed Eli's forehead. "I love you."

"I love you." Eli murmured into Pacey's neck as he clung to him with all his strength. Pacey set Eli next to his sister and they hugged each other tightly, crying. Pacey forced himself to turn away and walk to the front door, Joey following behind him.

"I'm so sorry, Jo." Pacey looked down at her, tears streaming down his face.

"I know." Joey sniffled. She reached up and wiped the tears from his face. Pacey knew it was wrong but he didn't care as he pulled Joey into his arms, crushing her to him, trying to imprint the feeling of her to his mind. "You should go." Joey pulled away. "Take care of yourself, Pace."

"You too…" Pacey touched her cheek gently and Joey's eyes closed for a moment. He looked at her one more time before turning around and walking to his car. Joey stood watching him until his car was out of sight before slowly closing the door, tears falling easily down her face.


	6. Chapter 6

3 weeks later

"Daddy, can we see a movie?" Jessica peered up at her father with pleading eyes as they walked through the mall.

"Oh I don't think so, baby." Pacey looked at his watch. "We don't really have time today."

"Please." Jessica turned to her mother. "Mom, please…."

"Your father's right." Andie smiled sympathetically. "We have to get home. Your Uncle Jack and Uncle Toby are coming for supper."

"I'll take you next week, I promise." Pacey scooped his daughter up and kissed her face.

"Daddy, stop it…." Jessica laughed as his scruff tickled her face. "Put me down." Pacey grinned as he set Jessica back on her feet and glanced over at Andie.

"What's wrong?" He asked when he saw the look on her face. He followed her gaze and froze when he saw Joey with Eli and Jennifer walking towards them. "Oh God…" Joey looked up at that moment and stopped when she saw Pacey and Andie.

"Pacey! Pacey!" Eli waved excitedly when he saw them, jabbing his sister. "Look, it's Pacey." Jennifer's head swung quickly and Pacey forced back tears when he saw her tiny face erupt in a huge smile.

"Mommy, isn't that Aunt Joey?" Jessica asked.

"Yeah." Andie said simply, looking at Pacey to see his reaction.

"Hi guys." Joey said quietly as she approached the family. She smiled down at Jessica. "Hi Jess." She couldn't believe how big Pacey's daughter had gotten since the last time she had seen her.

"Hi Joey." Jessica said pleasantly.

"Pacey!" Eli and Jennifer struggled free from their mother and flung themselves at Pacey, hugging his legs tightly.

"Hey guys." Pacey couldn't resist the urge to sweep them into his arms and hug them tightly.

"We've missed you Pacey." Jennifer told him before hugging him again.

"We've missed you lots." Eli nodded in agreement with his sister and Pacey blinked back tears.

"I've missed you guys too." Pacey told them truthfully, ignoring the pointed glare he was receiving from Andie. "Hey, there's someone I want you guys to meet." He set them on the floor and turned to Jessica. "Guys, this is my daughter Jessica." He wrapped his arm around Jess's shoulders. "Jess, you remember Eli and Jen. They're Uncle Dawson and Aunt Joey's children." Joey couldn't help but smile as she watched her children interact with Pacey's daughter. That was how she had always thought it would be. Her children would grow up with Pacey's and they would be best friends too. But life hadn't worked out that way. She glanced up and saw Andie watching her, her expression unreadable.

"How have you been Andie?" Joey said slowly.

"Jen looks more and more like you every day." Andie ignored her question.

"Yeah, I guess she does." Joey smiled at her daughter. "But I can't get over Eli. He becomes more and more like Dawson."

"Really…." Andie looked at her. "Too bad he didn't remind you of your husband before."

"Andie…" Pacey said in a warning voice as he looked up them.

"What?" Andie shook her head, sighing. "We have to go. Jack and Toby are going to be at the house in less than 2 hours."

"How is Jack?" Joey asked, sincerely wondering how her old friend was.

"He's fine." Andie replied curtly and Pacey sighed, glaring at her. "Come on Jess." She took her daughter's hand and led her away.

"Bye Joey." The little girl looked confused as she followed her mother.

"I'm sorry Jo." Pacey looked at her for a moment before squatting down to look at the twins. "I gotta go guys."

"Bye Pacey." They both hugged him at the same time and Pacey held them close for a long moment. He finally let them go, kissing their heads quickly.

"Bye." He gave a small wave as he went to catch up with his wife. Andie was glaring at him when he reached her and Pacey just shook his head. "I don't want to do this here, Andie." He told her as he picked up Jessica, who was watching her parents in confusion. "You OK, baby?" Jess nodded slowly and Pacey kissed her cheek, walking out the door toward the car.

**DCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDC**

"Where's my favorite niece?" Jack McPhee called as he walked in the front door of his sister's house.

"Uncle Jack!" Jessica cried happily as her uncle picked her up and hugged her. "Hi Uncle Toby." Jessica hugged her uncle's long-term boyfriend. Jessica had grown up knowing that her uncle liked boys so to her it was normal. Both Pacey and Andie had been afraid that when she started school it might cause a problem, but thankfully it didn't.

"Hey Sis…" Jack kissed Andie's cheek. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Andie shook her head but Jack just looked at her.

"Don't 'nothing' me." Jack told her. "I know you. What's going on?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now." Andie glanced at Jess.

"OK, I'll let it slide for now." Jack nodded. "But we will talk about it."

"Hi Andie." Toby hugged Jack's sister.

"Hi Toby." Andie smiled up at her brother's boyfriend. "Come in." Andie ushered them into the house.

"Where's Pacey?" Toby asked as they walked into the living room.

"He's upstairs changing. He'll be down in a minute." Andie said and Jack noticed the tension in her voice but didn't say anything.

"Hey guys!" Pacey greeted them as he came down the stairs. "How are you Toby?" The two men shook hands.

"I'm good, thanks." Toby smiled. "You?"

"Good." Pacey said simply, glancing quickly at Andie before turning to Jack. "Jack, it's good to see you."

"Hey Pace." Jack nodded at his brother-in-law, a small smile on his face. He was still slightly stand-offish with his sister's husband after the affair with Joey. But for Andie's sake he tried his best.

"So, what's for supper?" Toby asked, changing the subject as he noticed the tension b/w Jack and Pacey.

"Well, Jess wanted lasagna… again." Pacey teased his daughter and Jessica giggled. "But we decided to go with Andie's amazing chili. Does that sound good to everyone?"

"Sounds great." Jack wrapped his arm around his sister, his demeanor immediately changing, becoming much happier. "I love Andie's chili."

"I still think lasagna would have been better." Jessica said with a shrug.

"You always think lasagna would be better." Pacey swept her into his arms, tickling her. He sat down on the couch, settling Jessica in his lap. Jack and Toby also sat down, but Jack couldn't help but notice the sadness in Andie's eyes as she watched Jessica with her father.

"Do you guys want something to drink?" Andie asked and Jack immediately stood again.

"Let me help you." He gave her a pointed look when she started to protest. "Coffee?" He looked down at Toby, who nodded.

"We'll be back." Jack called over his shoulder as he pushed his sister toward the kitchen. "So spill it. What's going on?" He asked when they were alone. He turned the tap on and filled the coffee pot, pouring it into the coffee maker. Andie was quiet as she spooned coffee into the filter. "Andrea…"

"We saw Joey today." Andie said finally. "We were at the mall with Jess and I looked up and there she was. The twins were with her."

"Did she speak to you?" Jack asked, unable to believe that even Joey Potter would be so arrogant to speak the wife of the man she had had an affair with.

"The twins saw Pacey and called out to him…" Andie paused as she blinked back tears.

"The twins? I don't understand?" Jack looked at her confused.

"Before Dawson died, he asked Pacey to watch out for Joey and the twins." Andie said and Jack snorted.

"That's rich." Jack shook his head. "I bet if he had known…" He stopped when he saw the look on Andie's face. "Sorry." Jack studied his sister for a moment. "He hasn't, has he?" Andie was quiet. "Andie, tell me he hasn't been going over there."

"I don't know if he has or not." Andie shrugged. "I thought he was." She took a breath. "We had a fight on Jessica's birthday and I told him he had to choose. It was Joey or me and Jessica."

"And what did he say?" Jack asked, taking mugs out of the cupboard.

"Well, what could he say, Jack?" Andie looked at her brother. "You know how much he loves Jess. He could choose never anyone over her." Andie blinked back tears. "But you should have seen those children. They were so happy when they saw him and he was happy to see them and that made me angry." She took the milk out of the fridge. "…and then I felt guilty for being angry at 4 year olds." She turned to stare at her brother. "Why can't I get passed this Jack? Why can't I let it go? It was years ago and you know Pacey said something to me that kind of hit home." Andie wiped her face. "He said I haven't forgiven him and he's right. I haven't let it go. I keep saying that I've forgiven him but I haven't."

"Well, if he's been spending time with her behind your back, even if it hasn't been sexual…" Jack began. "Then he's not being fair to you. He's not giving you a reason to trust him."

"He has been better though." Andie poured the coffee into the mugs. "He is trying and I know it's hard for him."

"Hard for him?" Jack looked at her as though she were crazy.

"I meant because of the twins." Andie swallowed hard as tears filled her eyes again. "You should have seen them, Jack. They're innocent in all of this and they love him so much. If you think about, he's probably closest thing to a father they've ever known and I've just ripped that from them."

"Look, Andie, I feel bad for those children too…" Jack began slowly. "But Pacey's responsibility is to you and Jessica, not Joey and her children."

"I know that." Andie sighed heavily. "But…"

"But nothing." Jack stopped her. "Pacey made his choice to stay here. That's all you have to worry about. Think about Jess; think about how much it would hurt her if he left."

"I know, I know." Andie nodded. "We should get back in there." Andie lifted the tray and walked back into the living room, Jack following close behind.


	7. Chapter 7

1 month later

"Mr. Witter, there's a Mrs. Leery on line one for you." Pacey looked up from the papers he was reading at the sound of his secretary's voice.

"Oh, thank you Marie." Pacey said as he reached for the phone. "Gail, how are you?"

"It's not Gail." The sound of Joey's voice caused Pacey to freeze. "I said Mrs. Leery b/c…"

"What's wrong Jo?" Pacey asked immediately. "Is it Eli or Jen? Are they OK?"

"Nothing's wrong Pace." Joey said and Pacey sighed with relief. "I just wanted to say…" She trailed off for a moment. "I just miss you Pace." She said finally.

"I miss you guys too." Pacey said, closing his eyes. "How are the twins?"

"They're good…" Joey paused. "I'm sorry, Pace. I know I shouldn't have called."

"It's OK, Jo." Pacey told her gently.

"No it's not." Joey sighed heavily and Pacey could tell she was fighting back tears.

"Jo, what's going on?" Pacey asked softly, knowing something had to be up for her to call him at work.

"I just…" Joey began but stopped.

"Jo, come on, you know you can tell me anything." Pacey told her gently.

"Well, I'm sure you remember what next week is." Joey said slowly and Pacey closed his eyes.

"Yeah, I know." Pacey's voice was quiet. It had been on his mind for days.

"I was going to take the twins to…" Joey began but stopped as she began crying and Pacey felt his heart break. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you. I just didn't know who else to turn to."

"Joey, you never have to apologize to me." Pacey told her.

"I shouldn't have called though. I'm just making things harder for you." Joey took a deep breath.

"Jo, when are planning on taking the twins?" Pacey asked before he even realized he was thinking it.

"Monday." Joey said quietly and Pacey closed his eyes again.

"What time?" Pacey asked, knowing he shouldn't but he couldn't stop himself.

"I was thinking around 1:00, just after lunch?" Joey told him and Pacey took a breath.

"OK, I'll be over at about 12:30." Pacey swallowed hard, knowing that Andie would go crazy if she knew he was even talking to Joey let alone making plans to see her.

"I'm sorry Pace, I just…" Joey began but broke down crying.

"Don't apologize to me, Jo." Pacey told her sternly but gently. "I wouldn't be coming if I didn't want to."

"But Andie…"

"Andie doesn't concern you." Pacey said and paused. "Listen, Jo, I should get back to work. I'll see you Monday, OK?"

"OK, thank you Pace." Joey sniffled and Pacey felt his heart clench. He hated the thought of her in pain.

"Bye Jo." He slowly hung up the phone.

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"Hi Pace." Joey smiled when she opened the door for him Monday afternoon.

"Hey." He stepped inside and she closed the door. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm OK." Joey said quietly, glancing into the kitchen where Eli and Jen were finishing their lunch.

"Hey…" Pacey reached over and took her hand, squeezing it gently. "Everything is going to be alright. I promise."

"Thank you." Joey smiled up at him, grateful that she didn't have to do this alone, but worried that it would make things even worse for Pacey at home. They walked slowly into the kitchen and the twins looked up from their lunch.

"Hi Pacey…" Eli said quietly and Pacey frowned.

"What's up E?" Pacey asked as he sat down.

"I don't want to go today." Eli said, dropping his head. "I don't like it there."

"Me neither." Jennifer spoke up and Pacey looked at her.

"I think it'll be really good if you guys go." Pacey said quietly, glancing at Joey who was watching from the door.

"Really?" Eli asked, peering up at Pacey.

"Yeah, really…" Pacey easily lifted the little boy up and sat him on his lap. "…and I'll be there the whole time."

"Do you promise Pacey?" Jen asked suddenly and Pacey stopped for a second, remembering his promise to Andie. He shook his head, forcing himself not to think about it.

"Yeah, I promise Jenny." Pacey smiled down at the little girl before kissing the top of her head. "OK, so are we ready?" Eli and Jennifer nodded quietly and Pacey frowned again. "You guys go get your coats while I talk to your mom." Eli and Jennifer left the room and Pacey turned to look at Joey. "Are you sure they should be going, Jo? They don't really seem like they want to."

"But I really feel like they should." Joey shrugged helplessly. "I just don't want them to be afraid of going there in case they want to go when they're older."

"Yeah I guess that makes sense." Pacey agreed, wrapping his arm around her. "It'll be OK, Jo. We'll get through this."

"Thank you Pacey." Joey looked up at him gratefully. "I know you shouldn't be here, but I don't think I could get through this without you."

"Shh…" Pacey kissed her temple. "You don't have to thank me." He smiled down at her before glancing over her shoulder to find Eli and Jennifer watching them with big grins on their little faces.

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"OK, here we go." Pacey glanced at his passengers as he turned the car off and took the keys from the engine. "Are we ready?" He looked at the twins in the backseat and they nodded slowly. He glanced quickly at Joey before they got out and took the twins out of the car.

"Pacey, will you carry me?" Jennifer asked gazing up at him with those big brown eyes she had inherited from her mother. Pacey felt his heart clench as he looked down at her and he smiled.

"Of course." He picked her up and she settled comfortably against him. "You OK little man?" He asked, looking down on at Eli.

"Yeah." Eli nodded, chewing his lip nervously. Pacey saw him visibly relax when Joey lifted him into her arms. "Thank you mama…" Eli whispered and Joey kissed his cheek.

"Here we are." Pacey said as he stopped walking and he immediately felt his chest tighten. He hadn't been here in so long. "Can you stand, baby?" He asked Jennifer and she nodded as Pacey put her down. He glanced over at Joey, who was still clutching Eli to her as tears shimmered in her eyes. He looked back and tears filled his own eyes as he read:

**Dawson Mitchell Leery**

**April 15, 1982 – January 17, 2010**

**Devoted Husband**

**Loving Father**

**You Can Find Your Soul Mate**

**If You Just Believe**

"Pacey, are you OK?" He looked down and saw Jen watching him.

"Yeah, I'm OK." He bent down to look at her. "I just miss your dad."

"You do?" She asked quietly and Pacey nodded. "I don't remember him Pacey. I want to but I don't."

"I know, baby." Pacey hugged her tightly. "Your daddy loved you so much, though. You and Eli were everything to him."

"Really…" Jennifer stopped to think about that as she looked at the gravestone. "Can I go put the flowers down?" Jen asked and Pacey nodded kissing her cheek.

"Of course you can." Pacey smiled as Jen tentatively walked toward her father's grave. Eli struggled from his mother's arms and went to his sister, holding her hand tightly, and the two of them placed flowers on Dawson's grave. "Are you OK?" Pacey asked Joey as he wrapped his arm around her.

"There are still some days when I can't believe he's gone." Joey looked up at him, her cheeks wet from tears.

"I know." Pacey's voice was barely a whisper as he watched Dawson's children. "I have to admit, I feel like a hypocrite being here; it kind of feels like the ultimate slap in his face."

"Pacey, no…" Joey shook her head. "Dawson loved you…"

"His mistake…" Pacey interjected and Joey sighed.

"No, it was his privilege." Joey told him sternly. "…and I know that you loved him too."

"Yeah and I really showed how much, right?" Pacey shook his head. "I'm going to go put some flowers on Jen's grave. I'll be back." Joey sighed as she watched Pacey walk away. Pacey blinked back tears as he made his way to Jen Lindley's grave. He stopped when he reached it and stared down at the engraving on the stone:

**Jennifer Evelyn Lindley**

**September 25, 1982 ****–**** January 17, 2010**

**Beloved Daughter & Granddaughter**

**Devoted Friend**

"Hey Jen." Pacey said in a whisper as he placed the flowers near the headstone. "I know it's been a while since I've been here. I just couldn't. I guess I've been missing you more than usual." He paused for a moment as he closed his eyes. "I don't know what to do, Jen." Pacey brushed tears from his face. "You always knew just what to tell me and now your not here…" His voice broke off as he started crying. "I miss you so much." He sniffled. "Andie found out about me spending time with Joey and the twins. I promised her I wouldn't go over there anymore but I couldn't keep that promise. I can't seem to stay away." Pacey took a deep breath. "I know that I'm not being fair to Andie but Joey needs me. She's completely alone and the twins…. their father was ripped from them before they even got a chance to know him…" Pacey sat down on the ground and dropped his head in his hands. "Jen what do I do?" He asked as he stared at her name. "You were always the one to tell me what to do, tell me now."

"Pace..." He jumped at the sound of Joey's voice. He looked up to find her and the twins watching him.

"Hey guys." Pacey forced a smile as he stood up.

"The twins wanted to say hi to Aunt Jen." Joey said quietly and Pacey nodded. "But if you some more time…."

"No, it's fine." Pacey shook his head. He smiled down at the twins. "Did you guys bring flowers?" Eli nodded as he gently placed the flowers he held next to Pacey's.

"We miss you Aunt Jen." He whispered as he held his sister's hand tightly. Pacey blinked back tears.

"OK, are we ready?" He asked and the twins nodded. He looked at Joey. "Did you want a moment?" He nodded toward Jen's headstone.

"Yeah…." Joey said quietly and Pacey lifted her children up easily.

"Come on guys; let's wait for mommy in the car." He gave Joey a small smile before leaving her alone. Joey waited until they were a good distance away before turning to stare at her friend's headstone.

"Hey…" She said quietly. "I don't really know where to start." Joey took a deep breath. "I'm sure Pacey told you all about Andie. Is it wrong for me to hate her? It probably is, right?" She quickly wiped her eyes. "I know I shouldn't but I hate the fact that she gets to have Pacey come home to her every night." Joey closed her eyes for a moment. "The twins have become so dependant on him… I mean, they barely remember Dawson and Pacey's the closest thing to a father they have…" She trailed off with a sigh. "But we both know that the twins aren't the reason I loathe her the way I do. I still love him, Jen." Fresh tears sprang to her eyes. "I know I shouldn't but I do and he still loves me, I know he does." She sniffled. "But he's not going to leave his family and I would never ask him to, so what do I do?" Joey gently ran her fingers over the letters on the stone. "I miss you so much. You were always the sane one in our incestuous little circle. You always saw what the rest of us couldn't." She glanced toward the car where Pacey and her children were waiting. "I love you, Jen. I know I didn't always show it but you're my best friend." Joey stood up and brushed the dirt from her pants. "If you can, do you want to send me a sign?" She shook her head. "I promise I'll visit soon." Joey slowly walked away and paused when she saw Pacey leaning against the car, waiting for her. She approached and glanced in the back seat to find the twins passed out. "That was quick."

"I think they were pretty worn out from everything." Pacey said and Joey nodded. "How are you?"

"I'm OK, I guess." Joey said after a moment. "It's always hard coming here."

"I know." Pacey's voice was low and Joey frowned as she watched him.

"Pace, you have to stop this." Joey told him gently but sternly. "Stop beating up on yourself."

"Why should I, Jo?" Pacey looked down at her with a pained expression. "Dawson was my best friend and I betrayed him, not once but over and over." Pacey shook his head. "I betrayed my wife, my wedding vows…"

"What about me Pace?" Joey asked staring up at him, hands on hips. "I was willing in participant in everything that happened b/w us." Joey sighed. "You always do this. You take all of the responsibility when you shouldn't.

"I don't know, Jo." Pacey sighed heavily. "For some reason I can't stay away from you and it's going to cost me my marriage."

"I know…" Joey dropped her gaze, glancing at her sleeping children. "…and I'm sorry Pace. I am. I just…"

"Don't apologize to me, Joey." Pacey told her. "This is my doing. I chose to lie to my wife. I chose to put my marriage in jeopardy."

"You're just trying to look out for the twins." Joey said and Pacey laughed.

"We both know that's not true." Pacey gazed down at her. "Joey…" He touched her face softly. "I've always had a weak spot when it comes to you."

"Well, it goes both ways." Joey closed her eyes, savoring the feel of his hand on her skin.

"I have to stop, Jo." Pacey said finally, his stomach turning as the words came out of his mouth. Joey opened her eyes and stared up at him. "It's not fair to Andie or Jess…" He paused as he glanced at Eli and Jen. "…and it's not fair to them. I can't keep popping in and out of their lives like I have been over the past month." Joey was quiet as she nodded, knowing he was right. "We should get going." Pacey turned away, walking around the driver's side and getting in the car. Joey blinked back tears and slowly got in. They were quiet as they drove to Joey's house. "I'll help you carry them into the house." Pacey said, turning the car off. Joey nodded silently as she got out of the car. She lifted Jen out of the back of Pacey's car as he cradled Eli in his arms. They went silently into the house and tucked the kids into their beds. Joey walked Pacey to the front door and they paused to look at each other.

"It's kind of hard to believe that after all these years this is how it ends." Joey said quietly as she stared at her hands.

"I wish things were different Jo…" Pacey trailed off.

"I know." Joey looked up into his clear blue eyes and felt her stomach clench. This was really it. After everything they had been through together this was how it was going to end. Pacey reached out to touch her face but stopped himself.

"I have to go." He swallowed hard as he opened the door. He took one last look at her. "Goodbye Jo." He walked out the door, closing it behind him quickly. He got in his car and dropped his head on the steering wheel. Taking a deep breath he put the keys in the ignition and started the car, pulling quickly out of the driveway. He looked at the house for a moment. "I'll always love you Potter." He murmured as he sped away.


	8. Chapter 8

Pacey sighed heavily as he opened the door to his house that night. He dropped his briefcase on the floor as he took off his jacket. "Daddy!" A smile found his face when he heard his daughter's voice.

"Hey sweetheart." He kissed Jessica's forehead as he gazed down at her. "How was school?"

"Good." Jessica smiled up at him as Pacey swept her off the floor and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi." He greeted Andie.

"How was your day?" Andie asked looking up from the salad she was making.

"Long." Pacey said after a moment and Andie studied him closely.

"Oh?" She said questioningly.

"Yeah…" Pacey let out a tired sigh. "Baby, why don't you go wash up for dinner…" he kissed Jessica's temple as he set her on the floor.

"OK." Jessica ran out of the room and Andie turned her full attention to her husband.

"Are you OK?" She asked, walking over to sit across from his at the table. She reached out and touched his hand gently. "I know today had to be hard for you." It had been difficult for her as well. It was exactly a year ago today that Dawson and Jen had been killed. It had been on her mind all day. "I called you this afternoon but Marie said you were out."

"I went to put flowers on Dawson and Jen's graves." Pacey told her and Andie nodded silently. "I took longer than I thought I would."

"I miss them too." Andie said slowly and Pacey looked up at her.

"It's hard to believe a whole year has gone by." He blinked back tears. "Sometimes I forget they're gone."

"I know." Andie bit her lip as she looked at him. "Pace…." She began but stopped.

"What?" He asked and she looked at him for a long moment.

"Nothing." She shook her head with a shrug.

"Andie, what is it?" He implored and Andie took a deep breath.

"Do you want to call Joey?" She said finally and Pacey froze.

"What?" He was sure he had heard her wrong.

"If you wanted to call her, I would understand." Andie squeezed his hand. "I know today must be hard for… the twins."

"I don't deserve you." Pacey moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. "You're such an amazing woman." He looked down at her with tears shimmering in his eyes.

"I'm not that amazing." Andie told him with a laugh.

"Yes you are." Pacey told her sincerely as he looked into her eyes. "Honey, would you mind if I skipped dinner? I'm not that hungry."

"Of course not…" Andie touched his cheek softly. "Pace, I'm here if you want to talk to me."

"I know." Pacey kissed her forehead. "I just need some time alone." Andie nodded and Pacey gave her a small smile as he stood up. "I'll be in my study."

"OK…" Andie said as she watched him leave the room. Pacey closed the door to his study behind him and leaned against it. He had made a mess of everything. Making his way over to his desk he sat down and opened the drawer, searching through it. He stopped when he found what he was looking for. He pulled out his high school yearbook from senior year and put it on the desk in front of him. He stared at it for a moment before slowly opening it. He flipped slowly through the pages and stopped when he saw a picture of Jen. He smiled as he gently touched the page.

"God I miss you so much." He whispered as he stared at her image. "How can you be gone?" Tears filled his eyes as he continued to look through the book. He paused when he came across a picture of him and Joey with the caption _Class Couple_. "Class couple…" he murmured. He continued to flip through the book until he came to the back cover and he stopped when he noticed a note. He sat back in his chair as he read the inscription:

_Dear Pace,_

_Well we did it. We made it through. Sometimes I wondered if this day would ever come but it did. I wish I had some quip that you__'__ve come to expect from me but unfortunately I__'__ve got nothing. I don__'__t know what the future holds for us Pace, but what I do know is that you__'__ll always have a friend in me. No matter where our lives take us, know that if you ever need me I__'__ll be there, no questions asked. But, in case you decide that you__'__ve had enough of my antics for one lifetime, I want to leave you with a few words of wisdom._

_Pacey Witter, you are one of the most amazing people I have ever had the privilege of knowing and don__'__t ever forget that. There are great things waiting for you and you__'__re going to take this world by storm. As for love, you and I both know that love comes at the most unexpected time but I have no doubt that you__'__ll find that love again. Just give it time, when something is meant to be nothing can keep it apart __–__ not time or space. When something__'__s meant to be, it__'__s meant to be. Always believe in yourself Pace and always remember how much I love you. Congratulations._

_Love,_

_Jen._

Pacey sat staring at the book with tears streaming down his face. He had forgotten all about that note Jen had written in his yearbook. "Why did you have so much faith in me?" He whispered. He set the book down and picked up a framed photo he had on his desk. It was of him, Jen, Joey, and Dawson at his and Andie's wedding. "How did everything get so screwed up?" He sighed heavily. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and he looked up with a start. "Come in." He called as he quickly put the photo down and wiped his eyes. The door opened and Andie stuck her head in.

"Jess wanted to say goodnight." She said with a small smile as she opened the door further and their daughter came in.

"Come here." Pacey lifted her up, holding her close.

"Daddy, are you OK?" Jess asked with concern. "Why are you crying?"

"I was just thinking about Uncle Dawson and Aunt Jen." Pacey told her truthfully.

"I miss them too Daddy." Jessica said and Pacey smiled down at her.

"I know you do." He kissed her cheek. "But you know what, just having you come in here made me feel better."

"I love you Daddy." Jess hugged her father tightly and Pacey closed his eyes.

"I love you too, baby." He murmured. "I love you too."

"Good night." She slipped out of his arms and walked across the room, smiling back at him.

"Goodnight." He dropped his head as she left the room and tears sprung to his eyes again.

"Pace…" Andie began but he shook his head.

"Andie, please…" He looked up at her with pleading eyes that said he couldn't.

"OK." She nodded, slowly closing the door. Pacey turned to stare at the picture again.

"I'm sorry Dawson." He said in a whisper as he looked at picture of his friend. "I'm sorry I wasn't the kind of friend you deserved." He swallowed hard. He stood up abruptly, grabbing his yearbook. He left the room quickly, making his way upstairs. Andie was just coming out of Jess' room.

"Pace, what's up?" She asked when she saw his expression.

"I have to go out." He said quickly. "There's just something I have to do. I won't be long." He kissed her cheek quickly before heading back downstairs, leaving her staring after him. He grabbed his jacket on his way out the door.


	9. Author's Note

OK, so this next part is the last part. The story sort of took a turn in a direction I wasn't expecting. I'm not even sure I like the ending but I sort of hit a road block so I think this is it. I hope you all enjoyed it. Reviews are always welcome! Enjoy!


	10. Chapter 9

"Pacey Witter, what in heaven's name are you doing here?" Evelyn Ryan said in shock when she opened her door.

"I don't really know." Pacey said truthfully as she held the door open and he stepped inside. "I just…" He began but trailed off as he looked at Jen Lindley's grandmother with tears in his eyes.

"I know…" The elderly woman whispered as she wrapped her arms around him. "I miss her too." She pulled away to look at the man standing in front of her and thought about the boy he had been not so long ago.

"I found this tonight." Pacey held up his yearbook and Mrs. Ryan smiled. "There was something I thought you might want to read." He flipped to the back cover and held it out to her. Tears filled her eyes when she saw her granddaughter's handwriting and she read the message.

"Jennifer was always very fond of you, Pacey." Mrs. Ryan looked up at the young man. "Probably more than you know."

"I loved her so much…" Pacey began but broke off as tears filled his eyes. Mrs. Ryan led him into the living room and they sat down. "I'm sorry. I didn't come over to do this. This is probably the last thing you need today."

"I'm touched that you would come see me today, Pacey." Mrs. Ryan took his hand in hers. "It warms my heart to know how much Jennifer was loved."

"I don't know what to do without her." Pacey said finally. "She was my rock Grams. Through everything, Jen was the one constant that I had and I know it's been a year but I still forget that she's gone." He looked at her helplessly. "She always knew what to tell me. She always knew what I needed to hear…" He choked on a sob and looked at his hands. "I don't know what to do."

"Pacey Witter, you listen to me." Mrs. Ryan forced him to look at her. "All my Jennifer wanted was for you to be happy." She softly brushed the tears from his face. "Are you happy Pacey?" She asked and Pacey didn't answer as he looked away. "Josephine came to see me today." He stiffened slightly at the sound of Joey's name and Mrs. Ryan immediately noticed. "She told me that you took her and those precious children to the graveyard."

"Grams, please don't mention that to Jack or Andie if you see them." Pacey said immediately and she looked at him for a moment. "I guess you're probably wondering why I'm keeping that from Andie…"

"You owe me no explanations Pacey." Mrs. Ryan smiled gently at the young man. "I know how much Josephine means to you." She patted his hand. "Jennifer knew too. She knew even when you didn't realize that she did." Mrs. Ryan gave him a knowing look and Pacey looked at her, slightly alarmed.

"Grams did Jen…" Pacey began but was stopped.

"Jennifer kept no secrets from me, Pacey." She looked at him sympathetically. "I don't envy you." She patted his cheek. "But you'll make the right decision. You always do. Jennifer had faith in you and so do I."

"I don't know what the right decision is though." Pacey looked at her desperately. "Every time I try to do the right thing…" He trailed off. "It always gets messed up."

"Do you know why Josephine was here?" Mrs. Ryan asked and Pacey shook his head. "She came, obviously, to remember Jennifer, but she also came because she was worried about you and I'm going to tell you want I told her." She paused. "I won't condone your actions, but I know that they were not done maliciously." She reached out and took his hand again. "…and regardless of how you may see yourself, you were a good friend to Dawson Leery."

"A good friend?" Pacey looked at her as though she were crazy.

"Pacey, you didn't set out to hurt Dawson." She paused for a moment as she studied his face. "Will do something for me, something for Jennifer?"

"What?" Pacey said immediately.

"Please be happy Pacey." A small smile found her lips. "However that is. If you're truly happy the way things are now then good. But if you're not, you owe it to yourself… and to those around you to rectify that situation." She opened the yearbook to Jen's note. "Jennifer wanted you to be happy. That was all she wanted."

"Everything is so complicated though…" Pacey trailed off, shaking his head.

"So make it uncomplicated." Mrs. Ryan told him simply. "Do what you have to do to make it simple." Pacey was quiet for a moment before nodding.

"OK." He smiled at the elderly woman as he stood up and she followed suit. "Thank you, Grams." He hugged her tightly.

"You're welcome dear." She smiled up at him in a very grandmother-like way. "…and I don't want another year to go by before I see you." She told him as she walked him to the door.

"I promise." He kissed her cheek before heading to his car. Mrs. Ryan waved as he pulled out of the driveway. Slowly, she closed the door praying that everything would work out.

**DCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDCDC**

"Hey." Pacey said slowly as he swallowed hard, trying to calm his nerves. "I don't really know why I'm here." He sat down on the ground and stared at Dawson's headstone. "Actually, I do know why I'm here." He closed his eyes as tears sprang to his eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't have anything to say earlier but I just felt too guilty being here with Joey and your kids…" He paused for a moment. "I owe you a huge apology Dawson. But somehow I don't think I'm sorry really cuts it." He glanced down at the yearbook. "I found our senior yearbook today." He laughed a little as a tear rolled down his cheek. "What a year that was, huh?" He opened the book to Jen's letter. "I found a note from Jen that I'd forgotten all about…" Pacey sniffled. "That Lindley was something else. Why couldn't one of us have fallen in love with her?" He sighed heavily. "Well, I guess we both know the answer to that question, right." He flipped the pages until he found a photo of Joey. "Once you fall in love with Joey Potter there's really no going back, is there?" He closed the book and set it on the ground beside him. "But that's no excuse for what I did. She was your wife, Dawson, and I never should've..." Pacey dropped his head as the tears fell faster. "I never meant to hurt you or Andie, but…." He wiped his face on his sleeve. "I love her Dawson. I always have, but I'm willing to bet you knew that." He paused for a moment. "You should see those kids of yours. They really are something else. Elijah looks more and more like you everyday and Jenny… well, she's a little version of Joey." Pacey smiled a little. "But they miss you Dawson. They miss you so much. I've tried to be there as much as possible but I could never replace you." Pacey took a deep breath. "I guess the point of all this rambling, D, is I just wanted to tell you that regardless of how it may have seemed, your friendship meant more to me than you could've ever known and I'm sorry that I ever did anything to hurt that." Slowly, Pacey stood up and looked down at Dawson's grave. "I'll take care of her Dawson. I promised you that and I meant it. I'll take care of her." Pacey turned and walked toward his car. He drove slowly and his stomach was in knots when he finally pulled up in front of the house. He sighed heavily as he took the key out of the ignition, closed his eyes, and rested his head on the steering wheel for a moment. He got out of the car and walked slowly to the front door. He paused momentarily before taking a deep breath and reaching for the doorknob. He walked into the quiet house and looked around.

"There you are." Andie greeted him but stopped when she saw his expression. "Pace, what's wrong? What happened? Where did you go?"

"I went to see Grams." Pacey said and Andie glanced at the clock.

"You've been at Grams' all this time?" She asked.

"No." Pacey shook his head. "I went back to Dawson's grave. There were just some things I needed to get off my chest."

"Oh…" Andie said slowly. "Well, it's getting late, why don't you come to bed." She took his hand to lead him up the stairs but Pacey stopped her.

"I can't." He pulled his hand away and Andie turned to look at him.

"Pace…" She began.

"Andie, this isn't working." Pacey said and her face fell. "I'm sorry. I thought I could do this but I can't." He swallowed hard. "This isn't fair to anyone, not you, not me, and especially not Jess." He closed his eyes for a moment to stop the tears that were forming.

"Pacey…" Andie stared at him. The scary thing was that she wasn't even all that surprised. Deep down, she had been expecting it. Hell, she was surprised it had taken this long. She slowly sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. "Jen would be happy." She said suddenly, looking up at Pacey with a sad smile.

"What?" Pacey looked at her confused.

"Jen, she was always rooting for you guys." Andie blinked back tears. "It's OK, Pace." She took another breath as she stood up and faced him. "I know you tried…"

"Andie…" Pacey began but she stopped him.

"No excuses Pace." She touched his cheek gently. "Deep down, I always knew that I couldn't compete with her."

"It's not about competing Andie…." Pacey said quickly and Andie just nodded. "It's not. You were never in competition with her." He touched her face gently. "I do love you…"

"You just don't love me the way you love her." Andie finished his sentence. She smiled up at him as tears fell down her face. "You know what's funny? I'm not even all that upset. I mean, it hurts but when your marriage ends isn't it supposed to hurt more than this?"

"I'm sorry McPhee." Pacey whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and they clung to each other for a moment. "Andie, about Jess…"

"You don't have to worry…" Andie pulled away. "I know how much you love her and how much she loves you." She shook her head. "I would never keep her from you."

"Thank you." Pacey murmured, closing his eyes for a second. "Andie…" He opened his eyes and looked down at her sadly.

"Don't, Pace, please just don't…." Andie blinked back tears. "It might be best if you just go."

"Right." Pacey nodded. "I'll come by tomorrow for my stuff."

"OK." Andie agreed. "We can sit down with Jess and explain it to her together."

"OK." Pacey slowly walked toward the door but turned to face her one more time. "I do need to thank you, though."

"Thank me for what?" She looked at him.

"Thank you for giving me Jess." Pacey said and fresh tears sprung to Andie's eyes. Pacey gently brushed them from her face.

"I can thank you for the same thing." Andie whispered and Pacey smiled. "Even if there's nothing else, Pace, we can always say our marriage was successful simply because it produced her."

"But there was a lot more than that, Andie." He slowly leaned down and brushed his lips over hers, his tears mingling with hers. He touched her cheek gently and Andie closed her eyes, placing her hand over his. Pacey slowly took his hand away and made his way to the front door. He glanced back at her once before leaving closing the door behind him. Andie swallowed hard as she listened to his car start. She leaned against the door and closed her eyes as she heard him pull away.

"Goodbye Pacey." She whispered as she locked the door.

The End


End file.
